You show up all sweaty from all the running you did because that shows his taking you back is so imperative that you just had to sprint to make sure it goes down as soon as possible, then you burst through the big doors into the fancy event (either his wedding or a wedding for his sister or some kind of Christening or something) and then you pull out your assault rifle and you kill every last son of a bitch who might be able to convince him that he’s better off without you. Then you go to him and take his hands in yours.
“I’ve changed,” tell him.
“You just murdered my whole family,” he’ll say.
“Because that’s how much I need you,” tell him. “I couldn’t risk their influencing you against taking a second chance on our love.”
“And my friends. You murdered my friends. And a couple of my coworkers.”
Look him in his eyes. “Don’t you see how important you are? I will take the life of anyone who might try to tell you that I'm—”
You stop talking and open fire when you see his cousin walk out of the men’s room. His cousin’s head explodes like a popped balloon.
“I’m the girl for you,” tell him. “You know it. And you know that no amount of bloodshed is too much if it means you and I being together again.”
He’ll look around at the puddles of red on the floor, then he’ll smile and his face will turn even redder with a blush.
“No one’s ever killed for me before,” he’ll say.
Drop your assault rifle so you can grab him around the neck and kiss him. He’s yours again. Don’t do anything to make him remember why he left. Just get the hell outside without slipping in the blood and you two better book it to your apartment because you’re about to have the kind of makeup sex that only a love-fueled mass murder could inspire.
Happy This Is How You Beg Someone To Take You Back Day!
