You give tours of caves. Today you lost two kids.
Tell the parents, “They ran away.”
The parents will say they don’t believe you. Show them the note you forged. It should read:
“We ran away. Goodbye you guys. Love, The Kids.”
The parents will be convinced and they’ll send out a search party to find the kids. One group will head off to Hollywood to intercept them there in case they got on a bus hoping to become stars. Another group will head down to Florida since fucked up kids always seem to end up there somehow. A third group will set traps. Food in boxes rigged to close when they start eating the food, that kind of thing.
You’ll go back into the cave to track down the kids you lost and you’ll hit your head on a stalactite and die there. The two kids will come out the rear entrance of the cave around 90 minutes after the search party started. In the excitement of getting lost they’ll have fallen in love with each other and secretly eloped, even though they’re only 12. They’ll wonder why there are so many choppers hovering.
Happy Cave Tour Day!
