You found the cocktail napkin in her pants pocket when you were looking for some money to pay a delivery person. Modern Loving House. She went.
“You told me you didn’t want to go,” say to her.
“I didn’t,” she’ll say. “Then I changed my mind.”
“And you didn’t tell me.”
Run from the house in tears and don’t come home for a couple of days. You can spend time at the second apartment where your presently housing a girlfriend. Your wife knows about Shannon.
After you’ve cooled off, return home and your wife will sit you down and explain with a hand on your knee.
“You’re a showboat,” she’ll say. “When we attend an orgy, all eyes are always on you, as you fuck in wild positions with the precision of an acrobat. Look, he’s doing the Grungy Martindale. The Upside Down Chinese Fire Drill. The Jo Polniaczek. I’m always shunted off to the sidelines by the crudité. Even while getting drilled I get asked what it’s like to be married to such a sexual artist. I just wanted to experience an orgy on my own. I just wanted–”
“To not have your sexual partnering ignored in the looming shadow of my own,” say. “I never knew how my erotic virtuosity affected you.”
“It’s not that I’m not proud,” she’ll say.
“I’m not proud,” tell her. “I’m not proud that I made you feel this way.”
Call the RSVP lines of your next three scheduled orgies and tell them you won’t be able to make it, but your wife will still attend. Return to her, kiss her forehead, and tell her, “It’s time for you to shine.”
Happy She Attended The Orgy Without You Day!
