Today someone is going to throw a book through your window called "The Desperate Man's Guide To The Rest of His Life." After you clean up all the shattered glass you're going to crack open the book and start reading. You'll find that you really relate to the book, with chapters like "Oh God What Next What Do I Do?!!" and "Maybe I Should Just Give Up But Then What?!!!" and "Ahhhhh! Trying To Live A Life And Make The Most Of Your Potential Sucks!!! Ahhhhh!"
You'll do the exercises at the back of each chapter and you'll realize that when it comes to living a life in a constant state of desperation, panic, and quiet certainty that everything's going to just get a little worse as you get a little older and a little more tired with every passing day, you score in the 87th percentile! Congratulations. Now use the stick taped to the back page of the book to slap yourself on the thigh until the physical pain makes you forget that tomorrow's going to happen.
Happy The Desperate Man's Guide To The Rest Of His Life Day!
