Call him.
"Jordan look I need this," say. "I've got a big month ahead of me but ever since you started temping at the office I've kind of become obsessed with you being inside me. What are you doing tomorrow at like 7 PM so we can make that happen?"
Jordan will ask who you are and how he knows you again.
"Cut the shit!" shout.
He'll remember now how he knows you since you scolded him on his first day for drinking out of your tea cup.
"Anyway. You. Inside me. Capiche? This is already taking too long and kind of fucking up my night."
Jordan will tell you that he's getting over a lovely ex of his named Karen and--
"Fine call me Karen then. Jesus. I'll wear a nametag. Tell me how she squealed and I'll make the same noise. Do you realize how many presentations I have to get ready in the next couple of weeks?"
Jordan will think about it.
"Okay," he'll say. "But just promise me you won't--"
Hang up on Jordan. Then send him an email telling him what time you want him to get inside you, and explain that you hung up on him because he already wasted enough of your time with his yappy mouth. Everyone hopes you get this Jordan being inside you thing taken care of because everyone is counting on you to do a great job. You sell soda machines to bus stations.
Happy You're Just Not Going To Get Anything Done Until You Have Sex With Jordan Day!
