Office Girl is the saddest girl there ever was because she spends all day with her back bent over a stapler and her legs wrapped up in strange-fitting slacks when she should be in a park with her head lain back in a boy's lap, her hair splayed out over his thighs, her eyes looking up into his wondering if she's wasting her looks on the wrong boy.
"Look at this blouse," she says to you. "I should be wearing tops that fall off the shoulder. My shoulders are amazing. Instead I'm wearing this shit, stuck doing this shit, talking about this kind of shit to boys like you, who don't even look half as handsome as the boy who's probably not good looking enough for me."
Just then two grown men will pass by her cubicle tossing a nerf football. Office girl will cry and you'll hold her and yes, she'll know how big a deal it is that you're getting to hold her. But Uncle Sam expects everyone to work if they want to eat a meal or two so she's stuck crying into terrible excuses for chests like yours.
"The world deserves better than to have me cooped up in here talking to you," she says.
You know she's right. It hurts to have it confirmed, but you shouldn't take it out on her. If you're looking for someone to blame, there's no better place to start than with the man upstairs (God).
Happy Office Girl Day!