Your girlfriend is walking out on you today.
"I've fallen in love with something."
"Something?" you'll say.
She'll nod.
"Not a person?"
"No. God no."
"Then...what?"
She'll shake her head. "I can't. It's so..."
"Embarrassing?"
"New. I'm afraid of jinxing it."
You'll put your hand on hers. "I don't want you to pass up real love. No one should. If it will make you happy, you should leave me for this...soft object?"
She'll shake her head.
"Shiny item that is larger than a breadbox?"
She'll shake her head.
"Um...taxidermied--"
"God no."
"Is it a purse?"
"Look, I gotta go."
As she's leaving you'll shout at her back, "Just tell me!"
She'll slam the door behind her. Six months from now you'll see her at brunch sitting across the table from a bucket of rags, looking happier than she ever was with you.
She's Leaving You* Day!
*for a bucket of rags
