You're nine so it's time to go fuck around near some fuckin' train tracks. Hang out with some homeless guys maybe? Poke a dead opossum with a stick or something. Set fire to a stray cat maybe? Poke a dead homeless guy with a stick or something. Pee up in the air and get a little bit on you maybe? Meet a girl who's looking for food for her sick dad or something. Help escaped convicts get their ankle shackles off maybe? Find a trash bag full of porno mags or something. You're nine. There's train tracks. They were built solely for you to fuck around on. It was only after several years of nine-year-olds fucking around on train tracks that someone realized those tracks could also be used for trains to ride on. The nine-year-olds were against it at first but once the trains started rolling on those rails they found that a lot of stuff falls off of trains that nine-year-olds find very fuck-around-withable. Anyway, those tracks are waiting, nine-year-old. Have a fun and disgusting and extremely dangerous time.
Happy Train Tracks Day!