“Die Hard’s only a movie,” tell her.
She’ll say she knows.
“And even if it wasn’t a movie, that guy was a New York cop.”
He was trained. Your sister will agree with that.
“He knew how to shoot a gun. He’s been in dangerous situations before so his nerves weren’t likely to rattle. He might even have killed people before. None of that stuff applies to you or me.”
Your little sister will nod, then she’ll ask if you’re tired, indicating that you probably dozed off a bit. Ignore her. You need to get this across.
“But above all that even, it’s still just a movie. In real life even the best New York cop would probably get killed if he took on a whole bunch of high-tech terrorists. New York cops aren’t super-soldiers or whatever. Most of them probably never fire their weapons at a person.”
Grab her wrist.
“If John McClane was a real person, he’d probably look just like me right now.”
Your nurse will come in and increase your morphine drip. You’ll be going to sleep very soon and your little sister has a lot of graduation parties to hit. It was really good of her to come visit right after commencement, so make this count.
“So if you ever find yourself in a building that’s been occupied by terrorists, or thieves posing as terrorists, don’t try and turn into a one-man army. Just save yourself.”
Your little sister will nod again.
“If only I could go back in time to last Thursday and tell myself that,” say. Then fall asleep, and try not to dream of all those people whose deaths you failed to avert.
Happy On The Occasion Of Your Little Sister’s High School Graduation, Give Her Some Advice Day!
