The emails have been pouring in all day long. "Great job on last night's NCIS!" "Hey I thought I already saw that episode but I must have missed you the first time!" "I didn't know you even acted, but last night you were on that show NCIS, which is just like CSI, except there's an N."
You're not an actor. You sell paint at a Tru Value. You don't know what everyone is talking about, but apparently someone who looks just like you was on NCIS last night. The weird part is when CBS forwards a bag of fan mail to you. It's all from the elderly.
"I think you're very attractive and I'd like to get you naked and tell you what my experience of World War II was like."
You contact the network and you're told that you were indeed on NCIS last night. "Don't sweat it," the head of CBS' parent company tells you. "It started happening in season 3. People just started appearing on the show without having any memory of doing so. We can't explain it, it just happens. Eventually, everyone's going to be on NCIS. At least for a few seconds."
The head of CBS' parent company goes on to explain that it's kind of a great way to get the ratings up, having people find out from out of nowhere that they were on it. Then he asks you what NCIS because he's never heard of it.
You start tuning in to NCIS regularly, waiting for your rerun. When you finally see yourself, it's really you. Standing in the background behind some people who are in the Navy, you're just standing there in clothes you don't own, staring straight into the camera. You lock eyes with yourself and you can see how sad you look, how disappointed you are in everything you've become. The you on NCIS looks down at the ground, ashamed. You get up and turn off the TV. You can't bear to look anymore.
Happy You Were On Last Night's Rerun of NCIS Day!
