You are obsessed with the prowess and dexterity of mountain climbers and you want nothing more than to get access into a famous mountain climber’s tent and let him have his way with you. This means that you have to be pretty good at mountain climbing yourself, seeing as you have to chase a guy up a giant mountain, one that usually only he can climb, and keep pace with him so that you’ll be close by when he finally beds down for the night. You’ve been climbing for years and you’ve really become quite skilled. Learning to climb mountains not only ensures that you’ll stay on your man’s trail, but that maybe after he has sex with you he’ll see that you and he have something to talk about and he’ll let you stay another night.
Today it’s all going to go wrong. You’ll have been chasing after Lazlo Enright up a mountain that no one’s ever climbed before. The way will be treacherous and you’ll find that you’ve gone off his route. In your desperation to find him again you’ll race up the mountain trying to locate his tracks, but there’ll be no sign of him. Before you know it you’ll find yourself at the top of the mountain. No flag, no camp, nothing. You’ll be the first human ever to reach that peak. A few hours later, Enright will come crawling up over the side and he’ll see you there waiting for him. You’ll try to offer yourself to him, but he’ll feel threatened by a woman who can break his mountain climbing records. Way to blow your shot at some ass, genius.
Happy You’re A Mountain Climber Groupie Day!