Your Dad is a taxidermist and you’re a rebellious teenager so it’s time for you to rebel against him by stuffing M-80's inside the dead animals that are brought to him and blowing giant holes in their carcasses.
“Do you know how much extra work you’re making me do when you do that? I have to sew up those rips and tears and make sure that the fur covers over the seams. You’re slowing my business down.”
Tell your dad you don’t care.
“Well I’ll make you understand the value of a dollar,” your dad will say. Then he’ll sell your bed to pay for an assistant to help him with the extra work and he’ll make you sleep on a bed of the dead animals waiting to be stuffed.
“Can’t I sleep on the couch?” you’ll ask. Your Dad will tell you that he had to sell the couch too, in order to keep his business from going under.
“Now do you understand the value of a dollar?” your Dad will ask as you settle into the pile of bloody pelts and crunching animal bones.
“No!” you’ll say just to be obstinate. But you’re starting to understand it. People who don’t have dollars make their sons sleep on dead animals. You’ll probably do the same to your son one day.
Happy Troublemaker Day!
