Someone’s been sending threatening letters to the editor of Muscle Butts Magazine. The first one told him that the butts on the women in his magazine are starting to look a little flabby, and if he doesn’t change the direction he’s taking this very important magazine, he’ll be killed. After that, they started getting angrier. All about how Muscle Butts Magazine was the last refuge for a man who appreciates a woman with a squared, caustic ass. “The kind of ass you can stub your toe on,” it read. The editor has been blamed for kowtowing to the mother’s boys of America who need everything on a woman to be soft and forgiving. “Take away my muscle butts and I’ll kill you I swear it!”
The editor came to your security agency looking for a bodyguard and, since you’re one of the few females on staff, you got the assignment (Muscle Butts is a predominantly female office and it was felt that a female bodyguard would be less jarring to the environment). It won’t be long before you and the editor of Muscle Butts fall in love, and when you fail to thwart his assassination you’ll resign from the security firm so that you can give full devotion to your vengeance. Ultimately, you’ll find the killer alone in his room masturbating to the website boxyboobs.com. You’ll kill him slow.
Happy Muscle Butts Day!