Today you should be the guy who doesn’t get the girl. But instead of being a caring, funny, warm-hearted nerd who doesn’t get the girl because he’s not cool, you should be the kind of guy who was locked in an attic by evil step-parents who kept you confined to a world of darkness and silence for eighteen years, and so whenever you ask girls out you don’t know how to use words, only grunts and short punches at the thing you want and your eyes should be orange.
Happy Don’t Get The Girl Day!