She found the tapes and the camera you installed outside the skylight in his bedroom ceiling. She wants answers.
"Our son is very charming, right?" you tell her.
She agrees.
"He's one of the most charismatic people I've ever met," you tell her. "That's probably why he has so many girlfriends, yes?"
Your wife agrees again, but is growing impatient.
"And what of his politics?" you ask her.
Your wife concedes that your son has some rather fascistic tendencies. He's midway through his second term as student council president and he has been roundly criticized for turning the lunchroom into something akin to a police state.
"Imagine if he ever ran for public office," you tell her. "Our boy has the magnetism to hold a country under his sway. And God help our country if that ever came to pass."
"You'll release the tapes?" your wife asks.
"I'll release the tapes," you tell her. "He'll be brought down in a sex scandal and democracy will be saved."
"But they're of nothing more than two teenagers having sex, unaware that they're being taped surreptitiously," your wife argues. "Those tapes won't do anything but send you to jail for child pornography."
"Maybe in the kind of big brother nation our son would like to create it would be illegal to make tapes of kids having sex, but not in my America," you tell her.
Your wife counters that it is in fact presently illegal to make tapes of kids having sex.
"I'm sure a judge would understand that I only taped my son having sex because I didn't like his politics."
Just then your son walks in and spots the two of you watching a tape of him having sex with a girl. "Pervs!" he screams, and then he runs into his bedroom to sulk, probably over the fact that his political career is over before it even got started. Looks like he got the message.
Happy Your Wife Wants To Know Why You've Been Secretly Videotaping Your Teenage Son While He Has Sex With His Girlfriends Day!
