You and your wife stopped having sex a long time ago, so it's time you took the mirror off your ceiling. All that mirror shows you is two people who aren't having sex, and you hate looking up at ceilings and seeing yourself not have sex.
"It's gotten so I can't even look at my ceiling anymore," you tell your wife. "I used to love my ceiling. I could always see myself having sex on it. It was so hot."
"Tomorrow the mirror will come down and it will be all better," your wife says.
The next day the laborers will come and take your mirrors off your ceiling. You'll leave the house for a while so you won't hear them snicker about how you probably don't want a mirror anymore because all it ever shows is you not doing it. When you get home, your wife seems rather excited, but she doesn't say anything.
You manage to avoid looking at the ceiling until you finally lay down for bed. There on the ceiling you discover that your wife has commissioned a mural of you and she having sex. You're laying on your back and she's straddling you with her head thrown back. It looks really hot, so hot you start to cry.
"Now you can always look up and see yourself having sex," she tells you.
"It's beautiful sweetie," you say. "I want to buy a coffin and have the muralist paint the same thing on the inside of the lid. I want to look up and see myself having sex on a ceiling even after worms have eaten my eyes."
Your wife asks, "Same position?"
Tell her, "Do the coffin with both of us lying on our sides, me behind you. And have him paint me wearing my black rubber mask."
Your wife enters the notes into her blackberry, then rolls over and kisses you. Then the two of you lay on your backs, side by side, not even touching, and you stare at the ceiling and watch yourselves have the red hot sex of yesteryear. Pleasant dreams.
Happy Take The Mirror Off Your Ceiling Day!
