You'll be working the register at your luncheonette when a girl you went on a couple of dates with three years ago is going to stick a gun in your face and demand that you give her everything in the drawer.
"Marcy?" you'll ask. "Is that you?"
"How the fuck do you know my name?" she'll bark.
"Who the fuck is that?" her burly partner will shout. He'll have his back to you and Marcy, keeping his gun aimed at the customers.
"We went on a couple of dates remember?" you'll say. "Back in like 2003?"
A spark of recognition will change the expression on her face. She'll suddenly seem less hostile and just sort of uncomfortable.
"Oh right. Right," she'll say. "I'm sorry I never responded to all those emails you sent."
You'll say, "I didn't send that many emails."
Marcy will shrug. "It was kind of a lot," she'll say.
Marcy's partner will come to the register and ask what's taking so long.
"This is that guy," she'll say. "The one with all those emails?"
A smile will appear on her partner's face. "This is him!" he'll say, suddenly giddy.
"Did you show people my emails?" you'll ask.
"No, not really," Marcy will say. "Look, maybe you should just give us the money so we can get out of here."
"What'd they say?" one of the customers will ask.
"Oh they were classic!" Marcy's partner will say. "Long poems. Photo attachments of himself when he was a baby. He was downright proposing to her and they only went out like twice!"
The customers will start to laugh at you. The regulars will really give you heck. "You proposed over email?" they'll ask.
"I did not propose!" you'll shout, suddenly turning beat red.
Marcy's partner will throw his arm over her shoulder. "Hey don't worry about it pal. We've all done that once or twice with a chick when we get too lonely. 'Course, that chick usually doesn't end up robbing us later!"
That will make everyone in the luncheonette burst out laughing. You'll start shoving the contents of your register into a paper bag. Before they go, Marcy will say, "I'm sorry about this. I hope you're well."
They'll leave, but all of your customers will continue to razz you. The police will join in on the teasing when they show up to take a report. Later tonight, when you're eating dinner alone, you'll wonder whether Marcy really chose to rob your luncheonette by accident or whether she was just looking for an excuse to talk to you again. You'll assume the latter and send her an email telling her it was good seeing her today.
Happy It's Been A While Since You Saw Her Day!
