You and Kevin fell in love even though you're poor and Kevin's rich. But Kevin's parents wanted him to marry Bunny, a rich girl who was really boring but was at least Kevin's Dad's friend's daughter. So she was vouched for and whatnot. It wasn't a total cold-call.
But still, you're the one that he loved, so it was really hard for him to go ahead with the wedding. His Dad knew he had to get you out of the picture or Kevin would never agree to marry Bunny. So he offered you a hundred grand to tell Kevin that it was over between the two of you, and to stay away from him forever. You took the money because you're really poor, and so you told Kevin to give up the dream and he went ahead and married Bunny.
Everyone figured that would be the end of it. Kevin and Bunny would be rich and raise a family in a loveless home and you'd use your hundred grand to start a car service or a whorehouse or something. But Kevin ended up feeling so distraught over his lost love that he went ahead and turned on his car with the garage door closed and just sat there. Today's his funeral. You should go and say a few words.
The family will probably try to keep you from getting into the church, so be sure to wear a big hat with a veil. In between eulogies, just get up from the pew and march up to the pulpit as sure as if your name was in the processional program. Keep your eulogy brief. Just say something along the lines of how Kevin's Dad paid you to break his son's heart and while the money really came in handy, it was wrong of Kevin's Dad to offer it to you and therefore Kevin's death is his Dad's fault. If someone suggests that you are just as much to blame for taking the money, tell them that you were perfectly content with getting Kevin's Dad's money by marrying Kevin and making him happy for the rest of his life. You probably would have gotten a lot more if it had worked out that way, you should add. But Kevin's dad wanted to keep it to a hundred grand and who are you to tell someone what to do with his money. So it's Kevin's Dad's fault.
Once everyone at the funeral starts nodding their heads as if to say 'that makes sense' or 'she has a point,' you can go back to your pew and mourn some.
Happy Funeral For Your Forbidden Love Day!
