Ever since you got fired from your job for sexual harassment, you've been going stir crazy in the house because all you've wanted to do is tell your side of the story. But your lawyer has counseled you to remain out of the public eye until your wrongful dismissal suit gets a trial date. As long as you're stuck at home, why not take up gardening?
You could plant some rosebushes along the edge of the lawn that borders the street. The previous owner of the house had rosebushes out there and they were beautiful, but when you moved in you had them pulled up and the soil seeded with grass because you knew you wouldn't have time to care for them. Well you've got nothing but time now.
Once the roses are in bloom and thriving, just sit out there in a folding chair and wait for the flower lovers to pull up and compliment your green thumb.
"Nice roses," a flower lover might say.
Respond with, "Would you believe it if someone told you that the same man who nurtured these flowers to life had also turned his workplace into a sexual minefield where women could not feel safe."
The flower lover will say no, he would not believe that's possible since it takes a very gentle and understanding hand to rear a rosebush. "I know a thing or two about roses, and they don't grow for people who are overly aggressive," he'll say.
Climb into his car and show him the emails you received from the woman before she leveled her accusation against you.
"How is this supposed to be interpreted?" ask the flower lover, pointing to a particularly ribald turn of phrase in an email she'd written about scheduled chair reupholstering throughout the office. The flower lover will read the email and say, "Yup. Sure sounds to me like she was looking to pollinate."
Say to the flower lover, "And now they're trying to humiliate me into silence. I've sued for wrongful dismissal, and they've counter-sued with a negligence case demanding that I return all compensation I'd received during the period in question. What do you think I should do?"
The flower lover will say, "I don't know much about legal battles. But I do know something about lilacs. And if a lilac was being publicly humiliated with accusations of sexual harassment, well that'd be pretty silly wouldn�t it."
Say, "Yeah. I would say so."
The flower lover will say, "Hope I've helped, friend."
Say, "You haven't. At all."
Leave the car and sit by your rosebushes until a flower lover pulls up who knows something about petunias. If a petunia was ever accused of sexual harassment, you can bet good money that it would never stop fighting until the truth was made plain.
Happy Let Your Garden Grow Day!
