It's because you're a 43 year old woman and you always have chocolate on your face. Little kids run up to you and they say, "Do you have any more chocolate?" And you say, "Nope," even though you do. You just don't like to share your chocolate.
Today you're going to be in line at the airport metal detector and you're going to meet a little boy with cancer.
The boy's mother will say to you, "These heightened security measures sure are annoying, huh?"
You'll say to the boy's mother, "Yep. Nice to meet'cha. They call me Chocolate Martha."
The boy's mother will say, "I predict we're going to be friends for a very long time."
Then the boy will notice the chocolate on your face. He'll say, "Do you have any more chocolate?"
You'll tell him no.
The boy will cough. "I have cancer you know."
You'll just shake your head no. Then you'll wait to be ushered through the metal detector.
When you pass through, the detector will beep and you'll be forced to empty your purse of the 43 tin-foil wrapped Hershey's Kisses in your bag. You'll steal a glance back at the boy with cancer and his mother. The boy with cancer will be crying because he's dying and you made him feel like nobody cares enough to even give him some chocolate. The mother will just look away. You'll feel bad because it would have been nice to have a friend for once. Then you'll think about having to share your chocolate with the boy with cancer, and just thinking about it will make you glad to be all alone. You'll spend the flight caressing your candy.
Happy They Call You Chocolate Martha Day!
