After the Prep School Kids set fire to the house that you and your Dad share on the wrong side of the tracks, your Mom and Dad are going to spend the night in the same house for the first time in three and a half years. The fire will be in retribution against you for having successfully wooed Lindsay Carmichael, the prettiest Prep School Girl in town. Once it became clear that Lindsay had fallen for a boy whose father no one had heard of, the Prep School Kids knew they had to teach you a listen.
"Go find yourself a public school girl!" they'll shout at the burning house as you and your father gather the cat and whatever valuables you can salvage. "Even we assume that public school girls have more heart and, how do you say, joie de vivre, than any of the rich girls we hang out with! Why chase one of our kind?"
You won't be able to contain yourself. You'll smash open your bedroom window and shout out at the Prep School Kids, "Lindsay and I occupy a realm of the soul none of you will ever know!"
The Prep School Kids will respond by throwing more flaming bottles of kerosene at the house and screaming things like, "Why don't you go get an afterschool job and learn the value of a dollar!"
Once you get to your Mom's house, your parents will start fighting like they never split up.
"Did you teach him to chase girls out of his league?" your Mom will berate your Dad.
"I wanted him to do better than me, didn't I?" your Dad will answer.
Your Mom and Dad will continue fighting behind the study door. You'll sit with your grandfather in the kitchen. He'll tell you to never give up and only follow your heart. Then he'll call you by the wrong name.
Late tonight, Lindsay will come to the living room window at your Mom's house and tell you that she can't see you anymore. That she can't risk anyone else getting hurt on account of her reckless heart. Don't try to sweet-talk her into your bed, since you and your father are sharing the pull-out in the living room. Instead, just warn her to keep her head down tomorrow. Then stay awake and plans an act of vengeance to teach the Prep School Kids that all the money in the world is no match against a hard-luck kid's forbidden love for a pretty rich girl.
Happy The Prep School Kids Day!
