Without even looking up from his computer he'll say, "Five to one."
Your mouth will drop. "Against?!"
The bookie will shrug and continue typing. He'll be IM'ing with customers of his online gambling site.
"Come on," you'll say. "I'm hotter than I've ever been. Look at this rack."
He'll look up at the shape of your bosom, which is very appealing in that blue sweater. Then he'll look up at your face. Then he'll go back to his typing. "Five to one," he'll say.
"How can my odds be that bad?" you'll ask. You'll be trying to hold back tears. You've been so lonely for so very long. "What's wrong with me?"
The bookie will stop typing. "There's nothing wrong with you physically. I lay out my odds based on what I hear from the street. And word on the street is you're in a weird place right now emotionally and it's gonna be a little while before you're able to let anyone in again. Sure, you'll go out there with the intent of bagging yourself a man. But as soon as someone makes an offer you'll turn tail."
You'll feel a big weight lift off your shoulders when he's done talking.
"Five to one?"
"Five to one," the bookie will repeat.
Say, "Too rich for my blood." Then go home and rent some movies. Don't bother with the gym tonight because you're not going to have to try to get laid this weekend!
Happy Ask A Bookie What Kind Of Odds He'll Give You On You Getting Some Ass This Weekend Day!
