Your Religion Sucks Ass Day!
You drive past other houses of worship and you hear nothing but rocking music pumping through the walls and you see nothing but hot puss waiting to get in. Some houses of worship even have flags. Flags! Of their very own!
But you just keep on driving to your tired old house of worship where all the chairs are comfortable and lived in and everyone prays with a contented sigh. Sure it's comforting and it's cozy, but goddammit you didn't latch onto a faith to get put to sleep. You started believing because you were sick of the grind and you wanted a little action. A little pop and flash. Better drugs. Bigger appetizer servings. Chicks who know two languages. What's the point of recognizing God if not to get your hands on some recently updated Star Maps?
You came into your religion late in the game, and everyone's always reminiscing about how awesome it used to be before the 1640s. You can't help but feel like you showed up long after a scene has been played out. Your religion seems to survive solely so that congregants can get together every once in a while to remember when they were kickass. Well why not jump ship and go find the religion where the congregants don't have time to reminisce because they're too busy talking smack on trivia night? Remember, we're all pretty much praying to the same big cheese. Why not pray in the pew that's wired with PS2 game controllers.
Take the plunge. Go Greek Orthodox. You know what they say: "Once you go Greek Ortho, you'll be stoneder than shit."
Happy Your Religion Sucks Ass Day!
