Join The Police Department Day!
You've spent many years in the back of your limousine gawking through the window while this city went down the toilet. It's time you did something about it.
Say to the desk sergeant, "I wanna sign up."
He'll be skeptical at first. Skeptical of your thousand dollar coat and your manicured hands and the two beautiful women in gowns clinging to your arms.
"Let's see how you are with a gun," he'll say. At that he'll hand you his sidearm and he'll place a 9 volt battery on his shoulder. You miss the battery and shoot a flatfoot in the face.
"It's all right," the desk sergeant will say. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have asked you to fire that gun in here when I barely know you. I just love this city too much, I guess."
One of the beautiful women on your arms ask the desk sergeant what loving this city has to do with anyone.
"Girly," the desk sergeant will say. "I love this city so much, I wish everyone in it would be given a pistol so the playing field could be evened out and the clean could start getting rid of the filthy. With an even playing field, God always wins."
Tell the desk sergeant you don't believe in God, then accidentally shoot a clock.
"God doesn't ask that his soldiers believe in him," he'll say. "He only asks that they obey him."
The desk sergeant will hold out his hand to be shaked, then he'll give you your first assignment. A drug ring that you have to infiltrate and then bring down. "The next time you see the drug ring either buy or sell drugs, arrest them all."
Say, "Got it boss." Then run outside and tell your chauffer, "Take me to the underbelly!"
Happy Join The Police Department Day!