Stab Somebody's Eye Out Day!
Whether your Mom isn't watching you and your little brother when you start to play with your grandfather's antique ice pick collection, or you decide to strike back against your Peeping Tom landlord who drilled holes in the ceiling above your living room so that he could watch you watch TV every night (you haven't been touched in years), today's the day to stab somebody's eye out. It's going to be awful and you'll never forgive yourself.
Happy Stab Somebody's Eye Out Day!