Explain Why You Cry Sometimes Day!
He'll say, "You cry so much for no reason. I want to break up."
Tell him, "I can't help it. I been through some stuff."
He'll lift up your chin and look at you with tenderness. "Molested?" he'll ask.
Say, "Ew."
He'll get angry again. He'll say, "Unless you tell me why you cry, and you give me a good reason, I'm laters. It's been a good couple months, but hell."
Breathe deep. Get ready to let it out. Say, "Christmas tree fires."
He'll repeat, "Christmas tree fires?"
Tell him that your mother ran off because your father was a strange and holy man. When she left, his faith ran wild with him. He believed the celebration of Christmas to be evil and he had a small following that agreed. After Christmas, his followers would travel through the towns in trucks, knocking on doors offering to dispose of the neighborhood's Christmas trees at no charge. Everyone knew they were up to something strange, but they were all so poor (you and your father too) that the remnants of Christmas spirit in the neighborhood made it hard to deny them anything. The only time people refused was when his followers were unable to disguise their disgust with what they perceived to be sinful observers of an apocryphal holiday. Around January eighth or ninth, your father would preside over a ceremonial Burning of the Christmas Trees. And he and his followers would rejoice as the crackling dry wood and tinsel fire soared towards the sky.
"That was my Christmastime," tell him. "We'd dance and sing hymns and hug around the warmth of that terrible bonfire."
He'll say, "Holy fucking shit."
Say, "I've felt guilty ever since. Because I love Jesus, just the way my father taught me to love him. But I think I've always loved Christmas trees even more. And I dreaded those fires. I used to run into the woods pretending to pee over and over again so that my father couldn't see me cry. But I knew Jesus could. I just never was able to love him more than those beautiful Christmas trees."
He'll say, "Motherfuck!" And then he'll put his shirt on and book it out the door. You'll be alone again. Try to get some work done this time, Jesusface.
Happy Explain Why You Cry Sometimes Day!
