Hang On To His ValPaks For Him Day!
He could come back any day now and what are you going to say when he asks if he got any mail? "Yup and I threw it all out?" That'd go over well. You're already pretty certain that he ran off because of some signal you must have inadvertently sent to him that let him think you weren't a hundred percent sure that he was the one for you. What's he going to do when he finds out you couldn't hang onto a few (208) pieces of mail for him?
He never got any other mail because all of the bills were in your name and none of the collection agencies ever tracked him down to your place. And he never even opened the ValPaks, but it's the gesture that's important. After over three years of waiting, why leave anything to chance? Best to be able to open up the cupboard where you've been stashing them, show him that slatted pile of blue and say, "I've been hanging onto these for you. I figured you might want them when you came home."
Then you'll hand him one of the envelopes and you'll say, "As sure as there's a car wash coupon for five dollars off of "The Executive" in that envelope, that's how sure I was that you were coming home. You just had to make your way didn't you?"
Happy Hang On To His ValPaks For Him Day!
