Park By The River And Tell Him You're Bored Day!
He's gonna lean over to get some, so you'd better not wait too long before you tell him that you're sick of his face.
"But we're parked at the river," he'll say. "This is where we go to do it."
Explain to him that you took him to the river on purpose. "I wanted the river back," say.
Tell him how, over the years, the river has lent itself for a backdrop to all those moments you figured you'd want to remember one day. How there's so little going on in your shithole corner of the country that you had to go down to the river if you wanted anything important in your life to happen outside of a Quiznos.
"So I took you here for us to do it," say. "But I also came down here the morning after my Dad died. And whenever I get an important package or letter via the mail, I come down here to open it."
He'll say that he's glad you at least thought he would be something you'd want to remember. Don't tell him you were wrong.
"See, I can't let you and I having done it here by the river be the last thing that happened down here. I need my river back, so I had to break your heart here too."
He'll nod. "So you're canceling me out," he'll say.
"No," say. "You and me doing it here will always be here. The river saw it. Just as the river is watching me say goodbye to you. Now the next time I come down here, the river won't have to ask me, Hey, where's your boy?"
"Does the river ever tell you to do stuff?" he'll ask.
Just look straight ahead, look at the river. Contemplate its strength and its persistence.
"Is the river telling you to do something right now?" he'll ask.
Say, "You should go now."
He'll hold your eyes with his.
Scream, "Go!"
Pray that he gets out of the car in time.
Happy Park By The River And Tell Him You're Bored Day!
