Lure Them With A Bowl Of Greek Olives Day!
If you use the same bowl that you used for the Hershey Kisses, make sure you wash it thoroughly. You don't want your co-workers to bite into a Greek Olive and say, "This tastes like yesterday's Hershey's Kisses. What the fuck, Saperstein?"
You want them to say, "Olives? Hot shit!" And then they'll plant themselves there by your cube, sucking olive meat from those beautiful stones and telling you stories that end with lines like, "I never did make it Constantinople that Summer, and I've regretted it with every breath I've taken since," or stories that begin with lines like, "Buckle up, Dicksnot." You want the salt of your coworkers tears to mix with the sweat on the skin of those Olives. What you want, what you really want, is to know these people who surround you every day.
To finally know them. Jelly beans tomorrow. Go shopping.
Happy Lure Them With A Bowl Of Greek Olives Day!
