The Daily Number Day!
After you've bought $79 worth of three digit daily number lottery tickets, ask the 19-year old girl behind the machine for a suggestion.
"314!" she offers with a smile.
Say, "Straight and box for a dollar. If that wins, it'll be our wedding date."
The number of course will win, and you'll be $540 richer. That $540 will help pay for your divorce from your wife of 46 years (you're 71). The 19-year old lotto machine operator will be a little hesitant about marrying you before she finishes college, but she'll be glad to not have to live at her parents' house anymore during summer break. Her boyfriend will not be too happy with the way she breaks up with him ("A deal's a deal baby. Can't you be a little more mature about this?") He'll punch you once and give you a minor heart attack (your fourth), but you'll recover after not too long and you and the lottery machine operator will enjoy a happy life together for the 17 months remaining before you die in the bath.
Happy The Daily Number Day!
