Teen Sex Fun Town Day!

There's only one movie theater in Teen Sex Fun Town, and from February of 1991 to April of 1993, it showed Cinema Paradiso.

60% of the able-bodied workforce in Teen Sex Fun Town are on the unemployment rolls.

Hep C cases have skyrocketed 30% since one year ago today in Teen Sex Fun Town.

It's been going downhill for years, but there's always further to fall.

"Did you hear about the landmines?" you ask your lover Jane, age seventeen.

"Landmines?" asks Jane. Her foot nuzzles your ankle.

"Mayor Skokie is going to plant active landmines in the sidewalks," you say.

"Why?" she asks.

"Skokie's in the pockets of the Velcro wallet factory. The Velcro wallet factory employs family men. They want to clean this town free of teen sex fun. They want us to die."

You and Jane have sex.

Happy Teen Sex Fun Town Day!