Introduce Some Novelty Into The Bedroom Day!

Tell her, "Meet James."

That's the cue for that guy, James, to come into the bedroom and sit down in the corner.

"James is gonna tell us what to do tonight."

Your wife will look to James and say, "Hello." James will say, "Yup." Then he'll shrug for no apparent reason.

Climb under the covers and untie the drawstring on your wife's pajama pants. She'll ask, "Who is he?"

Look at James, to see if he's paying attention. He really isn't. Say to your wife, "He's just a guy I know from the driving range. But I think I met him someplace else." Pull her panties down. You'll get up on your knees so that your wife can take your penis into her mouth, which is how things usually start. Then you'll remember that you're getting ahead of yourself.

"Sorry, James," say. "I forgot that you're supposed to be calling the shots tonight. What's your poison?"

"That looked fine," James will say.

You'll pretty much run through the motions like you normally do. James will sign off on just about everything you wanna do. He won't invest too much of himself, spending most of the encounter on his cell phone. He'll only throw down a veto when you hoist your wife onto all fours and begin eating her pussy.

"Hang on," James will say into his cell phone. Then to you, "Not that. I hate that."

You'll both hold still for a second. Your wife will look back over her shoulder at you, then she'll say to James, "Aye aye." So you'll pull back onto your knees and enter your wife, who will still be on all fours. You'll look to James before thrusting ahead, and James will just offer a silent thumbs up so as not to interrupt his phone call.

The encounter will come to a close when James gets into a fight with whom you assume to be his boyfriend on his cell phone, and he stomps out into the living room so he can yell into his cell phone with abandon. Not long after that, you'll hear the front door slam and the sound of James' car peeling out of the driveway.

Happy Introduce Some Novelty Into The Bedroom Day!