The Marines Day!

If we pitted our branches of the armed forces against each other, you'd root for the Marines. The Marines are just a bunch of hard-luck cases. Like growed up orphans who know how to kill. No one would root for the air force because they have all the spaceships. If it's a bunch of guys running around on the ground versus a spaceship, only a dick would keep his fingers crossed that the spaceship might be able to come out on top. The Navy's more about keeping their boots shiny and staying out of trouble so as not to be banned from the Saturday Night "Everyone On The Boat Fucks Everyone Else On The Boat" Topside Orgy. And the army is all about road repair nowadays.

But the Marines. They're the guys who just don't wanna have to go home and raise their kids. Every last one of them has gotten into a mixed-race fistfight and they've all cried into the arms of a heterosexual member of the same sex. You want the Marines to win even though they make you feel small. You can't resist getting behind the guy who could snap at any minute.

Happy The Marines Day!