Wanna Say Goodbye To Something Sweet Day!

They should put it on a bumper sticker. "I'd rather be looking down into a pair of sad little eyes and saying that I'm just not the guy that you wanna be making any long-term plans with." You'd buy it. And if you owned a car, you'd put it on your car. But since you don't own a car, you'd totally tack it to your bulletin board.

You just want to be a dangerous person. A man who owns one pair of jeans and has seven thousand dollars in a shoebox buried at the base of a tree somewhere in Omaha. You want to breeze into a town solely to get killed, but end up being mothered by the town's widowed librarian until she demands that you hurt her any way you like as long as you leave town in one piece.

You want that librarian to stop you before you step into the thick of the sunset and show you the bag full of everything she owns that she's got in her left hand. You'd caress her cheek with the knuckles of an open fist. And you'd tell her that you wanna do right by her, and the only way to do that is to say goodbye.

"The more people I leave behind," you'd explain, "The fewer who'll know when I'm dead. That comes kinda close to livin' forever."

She wouldn't understand what you're trying to say, and a little part of her would be relieved that she's staying put because that little part of her would suspect that the reason you're unable to settle into anything secure is because you're not that bright.

Trouble is, you are pretty bright. Just bright enough to know what to be scared of, and how to behave in khakis. So tonight, instead of telling a sweet little thing that you're trouble and not to get mixed up with guys like you, you're going to take a bath and then watch season one of Alias.

Happy Wanna Say Goodbye To Something Sweet Day!