Those Fateful Words Day!

"Bartender, I'd like to buy the lady at the end of the bar one Screaming Orgasm please."

That was just a joke you'd play at the end of the night after you'd been shot down by every woman in the bar and you knew you had nothing to lose. But Carol took the drink and invited you to join her. She was the first. She brought you home that night, and twenty years later, you're still together.

You renewed your vows again last August. In keeping with tradition, all the toasts were made with Screaming Orgasms raised in the air. The ceremony was even more delightful than the ten-year. But this time, when you told her, "Until the end of time my love," it was a plea. Because you knew what was coming around the bend.

You haven't said a word about it. Though you knew you were going to take the hit, you hoped against hope that a last-minute change of course in the US Attorney's office would keep your name out of the indictment. But the phone rang this morning, and your lawyer let you know that the you can look for your name on the front page of Monday morning's paper. Carol's in the kitchen.

"Until the end of time?" you ask from the doorway.

She looks up from Matthew's math homework and smiles a quizzical smile. "Until the end of time," she says. Of course she says that.

I've been indicted for securities fraud. I might be able to avoid jail-time, but everything's...

"How's the homework coming kiddo?" You just can't tell her. There's got to be a way out. There's a rifle in the shed.

"Fine," Matthew says. He doesn't look up from his looseleaf.

"Matthew, I'll be back in a second," Carol says.

"No," you say. There are two more days. Two more days to tell her. Two more days for it all to disappear somehow. "I'm fine. I'm just going to go up and read for a bit."

Carol doesn't sit down. She keeps her eyes on you, waiting for you to explain what's going on in your head. When you leave the kitchen, she's still standing.

Happy Those Fateful Words Day!