This Is Pussy Dust Day!

It improves. Sprinkle a little bit of it on your chest and you'll breathe a little better. Place a pinch in your palm and blow the cloud poof through your bedroom and you'll dream about an autumn walk you took in a park once. Scatter it over your desk and shuffle your files about and before you know it, your boss' hand is on your shoulder and he's telling you you're an indispensable cog in the Kraynetech Global Innovations and Technologies Machine. Drop some into your cornflakes in the morning and, ironically, your corn flakes won't go soggy (and they'll taste like pussy). Fling it into the eyes of an assassin and he'll turn all springtime, the murder in his eyes giving way to a boyish twinkle. Stuff it into an envelope addressed to a television news anchor and you'll receive a letter three days later that reads, "Top story tonight: Thanks For The Pussy Dust!"

All this and more, guaranteed. Keep away from cock and balls.

Happy This Is Pussy Dust Day!