Get Good Lookin' Day!

First, lose the parrot. Next, buy seven bow ties and assign each bow tie to a day of the week, so that if it is Thursday, everyone can be sure you will be wearing your "Thursday Bow Tie." Bein' good lookin' is about more than just doing facial flexes to try and naturally chisel your cheekbones. Bein' good lookin' is about offering coworkers and potential fuckfools a little bit of certainty in this life. "What can I count on in a world where children just disappear without leaving any clues, like my son did. Here's his picture, have you seen him. He'd be 14 by now. I miss him. Nice tie. Oh hey, that's your Thursday tie. It's Thursday! I feel like this big boat we call human existence now has an anchor. Help me with this zipper good lookin'."

Next, and this is just for the guys, wear lavender eyeshadow on one eye.

Happy Get Good Lookin' Day!