Grandfather Clock Time Ya'll Day!
Pendulum swinging to and fro, just like your adoration. You know Leopold is the wrong boy for you. He's rich, angry, and gay.
But Wallingford, who always appears to be uncomfortable in his own skin, actually has a very contageous, irritable and incurable rash that covers his body from head to toe.
Why so fickle, little countess? You have only two to choose from. They are the only boys in town without syphillis (Wallingford hasn't had his stats updated, but he gives his word).
Countess, make it happen. Put on the blindfold, pick up the stick and hit one of the boys in the head. Him who is beaten will father your rich, angry, gay/lesioned, itchy, ill-at-ease babies.
Hit a boy, little girl.
Happy Grandfather Clock Time Ya'll Day!