Chicago, IL Day!

You think you're attractive, yes you do. You think you are so irresistably pretty that all you have to do is take off your pants and there'll be a line around the block offering to paint your vestibule. You think that you can spend and spend and spend but don't worry because if you run out of money you can just shit some. You think that no matter what miserably boring thought you might have, if it's spawned in your head it's gotta be just the most brilliant idea since they decided to spell Froot Loops with two O's instead of a "UI" in the middle. You think that your the one who isn't going to have to die. You'll be the one who won't have to experience the heartbreak of watching someone you love walk out the door, waking up in the morning and finding out the one you love isn't going to be around anymore. You think that if you had two balls bouncing around inside your mouth you'd be able to just keep on winning at Boggle and making the best margarita your roommate's ever tasted because apparently when you were six you got touched the wrong way but just because you're you the wrong way turned out to be just right and so you can understand the plight of the black man and the frustration of being judged by your wardrobe and so what if there's a big brown growth under your armpit because you don't have the time to call your destitute sister and

Happy Chicago, IL Day!