Wedding Day!

Congratulations, today is your wedding day. And by this I mean, if you get married on any day but today it will not work out. I know this is short notice but I hope, for the sake of your marriage, that you got married today, or are getting married tonight. Otherwise, you can either call the whole thing off and avoid a lot of pain and regret way down the road (when I say your marriage won't work out, it might not go to shit for as many as five or six years), or keep your mouth shut and enjoy the party and the giant wads of cash and sets of dishware (and the small appliances and newlywed sex, which is fucking filthy). Your choice.

Happy Wedding Day!