You Like Girls Day!

Nyah nyah nyah, nyah-nyah nyaaaaah! You like girls and it's because girls make you feel swirly all over your insides. Gonna cry?

Well, you'll get no sympathy from anybody around here, girl-lover. Because until midnight tonight, if you come in contact with a person who is female, you like her.

I know what you're gonna say. "But Mrs. Kim at the deli is soooo gross!"

Not today. Today, you wish Mrs. Kim would make your babies.

"But what about my daughter's principal? She's been trying to have my daughter assigned to a special education school even though three doctors claim she has bad verbal skills because her hearing problem wasn't diagnosed until she was seven! I can't possibly like my daughter's principal!"

Yes you do. At least for today. You wish your daughter's principal would kiss you one hundred times on the mouth and squeeze and squeeze you.

"There was a homeless woman begging for change near the freeway toll."

You wish that homeless woman was your girlfriend.

"That schoolbus full of children?"

All the girls on that bus, you want to buy all the girls presents.

"What about that twenty one year old intern at the office? She's got tits that'll make you kick a dog."

You hope you both live to be a hundred together and die in bed in each other's arms and you're going to get buried in the same coffin.

"Oh."

Girl-lover!

"Shut up."

You like girls!

"Fuck you."

What's a matter? Do you see a girl whose hand you want to hold?

"Fuck you. You hear me?"

Girl-lover!