So Glad The Floral Print Minidress Day!

You've got a desk made out of wooden planks and sawhorses and clothes you bought when you were playing hookie from high school and an alarm clock that used to be your grandmother's and it's got giant red numbers on it because her eyes were going bad before she died. You've also got five left of a six pack that cost more money than you've earned all winter. Give her one and tell her to sit down and wait for you.

You haven't got a job or any idea how you're going to pay rent again tomorrow and you haven't got any dreams to pursue or authorities to run from and you don't even have any music playing in the living room because the stereo that used to be in there was your roommate's and he moved into his own place last month because he's a grownup (one year younger than you). You also haven't got any reason to leave the house in the morning and she did as you said and sat down to wait for you so go on.

You do have a ceiling fan that makes the single remaining bulb's white light skitter across the dark wood floorboards in a way that's fun to watch after 11 at night and you do have a hideous floral print couch that you found on a sidewalk five years ago miracualously clean of the scent of pee. You also have a talent for helping people out of embarrassing situations which is why you're gonna be so glad the floral print minidress she's wearing sports the same exact pattern as the upholstery of the couch she's sitting on and she hasn't the slightest idea. So to save her from suffering a mortifying coincidence you're going to have to rush right over and kiss her till her eyes close and lead her into your bedroom and get that dress off her body just as quick as you can. You're just too nice a guy to let it go any other way.

Happy So Glad The Floral Print Minidress Day!