It's the Girls Are Pretty Silly Putty Week!

This week on Girls Are Pretty, we're going to be celebrating Silly Putty week by posting more than one day's personal regression assignment at a time. Also, in honor of Silly Putty Week, there will be no mention of Silly Putty on this or any other web page on the worldwide internet network of webpages and websites. Check it out.

Monday, January 13, 2003

Cheerleader Camp Day!

Today is the day you're going to try to turn your life around by joining cheerleader camp. Within six hours, you'll be kicked off the grounds for not being nimble and also for being high in the boathouse with the 55 year old retarded guy who looks after the boathouse. You might not make cheer squad, but at least you'll have found love.

Happy Cheerleader Camp Day!

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Maple Syrup Day!

Put a bowl of tunafish on the kitchen floor but before you open the door to your kitchen, pour a big puddle of maple syrup on the floor in between the entrance to the kitchen and the tuna on the other end of the floor. Your cat will already be trying to dig underneath the door to get into the kitchen, so when you open the door she'll just come tearing across the floor glomping straight through that puddle of syrup. She'll still eat the tuna, but for the rest of the day she isn't going to be able to take a step without twitching her paws to try to whip that syrup from her fur. The syrup won't ever come off and your cat will want to die. This is gonna be so fucking awesome.