It's the Girls Are Pretty "Scaredy Cat Weekend!"

Monday is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and to honor the good doctor it is tradition here at Girls Are Pretty to spend the preceding Saturday and Sunday crippled with terror over everything from having to tie one's own shoes to a home infestation of giant mice with knives who speak in loud curse words. So it's best that both Saturday and Sunday get put up right now since Pretty Girl just heard a noise. Scroll down to read Saturday. Don't read Sunday until tomorrow or else something bad will happen to your Mom.

Sunday, January 19, 2002

Look Like Ally Sheedy Day!

Today's the day to be on just this side of Dyke. Get a haircut that is kind of almost not shoulder-length but with enough bounce to just nearly avoid looking way hot. Wear girl clothes, but rumpled, like they make you feel as uncomfortable as you feel in your own skin. Finally, pout in a way that lets people know you don't expect to be paid heed. For extra credit, ruin your career comeback by taking every opportunity to bitch to the press about your falling out with Demi Moore.

Happy Look Like Ally Sheedy Day!

Saturday, January 18, 2002

Fuck The West Memphis 3 Day!

A while ago, Damien Eccols and Jesse Somethingorother and that third kid were wrongly imprisoned for fucking and killing kids. Since then, a really cool movie was made about the whole thing, as well as a way shitty sequel. And more recently, there was a record of Black Flag covers released to benefit their legal defense fund because apparently Henry Rollins just got HBO Plus. Will these three boys who've spent most of their young adulthood behind bars ever be given a fair trial? Will Jon Mark Byers ever admit to peeling the skin off his step-son's penis with his own teeth? Will the truth ever come out? For today only, the answer to all of these questions is "Who the fuck cares? That sequel blew." So unless the Paradise Lost trilogy is completed by midnight tonight and the final chapter is way cool, today's Fuck The West Memphis 3 Day!