Your Mom's Been Following You Day! (DON'T LOOK!)
Just keep walking and act casual. It's okay to smoke. She already saw you smoking earlier so you don't have to hide it anymore. She's been following you for three days now.
Don't look! Just keep walking. According to your Dad, the other night she fixed up a macaroni casserole in the big dish, they sat down to eat and your Dad thought it was a pretty damn good casserole, but your Mom wasn't touching her plate. Your Dad asked what's on her mind and she asked him if he remembered how to work the microwave because she wanted to fly out and tail you for a while so he'd have to microwave himself the remainder of the casserole through the coming week, which was cool with him because if he had his druthers he'd eat macaroni casserole every night and he wouldn't share a home with your mother. So she got on a plane.
Your Dad said to just not lead her into any kind of wigged out perverted sex clubs if you do that kind of thing (which is none of his business as long as you weren't peer pressured into it) and don't let her see you buy drugs if you have a drug habit. Other than that, do what you want, you're an adult.
She looks hungry. Pull into this diner up here. I know you just ate but your mother couldn't find any place where she could get some food and keep an eye on you at the same time. If you go into the diner, she can sit in that soup place across the street and watch you through the sidewalk window. She's hungry you little shit, let your mother have some dinner.
You know, as long as she's gonna keep tailing you, maybe you could take her to some of those places you always try to get your parents to go to when they visit but they always just wanna go to the most touristy shitholes in town, like the folks from their church drew up a list of awful places they have to buy tee shirts from. Why not go check out-- Wait! You lost the bitch! Duck into this alley and slip into the kitchen entrance of the blues club. Be slippery.
Happy Your Mom's Been Following You Day! (DON'T LOOK!)
