Kurt Cobain Day!

A lot of people think they can observe Kurt Cobain day simply by wearing a cardigan sweater to work. When these people die they are going to go to hell.

Solemn and heartful observance of Kurt Cobain day involves three brief, measured rituals:

First, make some French Toast. This is to demonstrate that you know that if Kurt Cobain's ghost came into your kitchen while you were eating French Toast, he'd probably lick his pretty pink lips and say, "Man, I sure wish I could eat some French Toast." Then he'd probably just hover over your table and look really jealous. When you're finished with your breakfast, look up at Kurt Cobain's ghost and say, "Shouldn't have killed yourself, Cobain. Fame might be a bitch, but French Toast is still delicious."

Second, push your thumbs into your eyeballs until you rip narrow caverns into them and they spew forth with gelatinous eye goo. If Kurt Cobain's ghost shows up he'll probably say, "Oh Jesus! Why'd you do that?" Tell him that he robbed the world of his beautiful blue eyes and so you decided to blind yourself for some reason. When he says "Ew!" tell him it's pussy-ass reactions like that that kept him from being able to deal with stress and that's why he blew his own head off. Then call him a faggot.

Third, hug somebody who's attractive but make sure Kurt Cobain's ghost is watching and from over the shoulder of the attractive person who's front is pressed up against your front, give Cobain's ghost a look that says, "Kinda wish you could have yourself a little squeeze of this, dontcha baby boy? You probably could've, if you hadn't swallowed a shotgun in your garage that is. By the way, next office party, I'ma fuck this. You wanna bet?" Kurt Cobain's ghost won't make a bet because he can tell you probably will make that shit happen, especially if the two of you have had a lot to drink. Kurt Cobain's ghost will be real jealous because even though he's dead he still remembers that intercourse was lots of fun.

Happy Kurt Cobain Day!