Empty The Biggest Room In Your House Of All Furniture And Decoration, Then You And Your Mate Strip Naked And Sit With Your Backs Up Against Opposing Walls And Scowl At Each Other Day!

Sorry, this one's only for couples who've lived together for three years or longer. Not that those who've lived together for less than three years blow. It's just that for today you do not matter and neither does your intimacy. Wait outside. There's a truck that sells tacos outside.

Now then. For those who've stayed, I hope you've found the room you wish to use and I hope it has white walls and wood floors and two windows in one of the longer walls that pour in the soft gray light of the late afternoon autumn dim. Remove all furniture and window dressing, pictures and paintings and extension cords. Make it look the way it looked when you first saw the place and decided to call it home. Then strip.

Don't sweep the floor. When you sit, you want to feel the dirt and debris that gathers against baseboards attach itself to the skin of your ass and thighs. Even though you've never done this before, I'm sure you both chose the wall you want to sit against without any discussion.

Now just sprawl your legs out in front of you and curve your back up in a slouch so that there's enough room between you and the wall for a cat to squiggle behind each of you. The thing about this posture is no matter how much you exercise, your bellies are still going to fold in on themselves and you will look fat.

Let all muscles go loose, not with peace of mind, but with exhaustion. Like atrophy can be effortful. Now look at each other. You know that body. You know those creases of skin and those breasts and those toes and legs and testicles. You've pressed your lips against every inch. You've felt each other's goosebumps in your daydreams. That body is yours because you say so.

Now let a scowl bloom from your lips. For whatever reason, just put it there and let it settle there. Look at that face way over there across the room. There's a scowl on that face that belongs to you. It's not a bad thing. You're simply glaring at each other because sometimes faces fall ugly.

Hold it there. Just there. Keep it just there. After about fourteen hours, put on your clothes and go find food.

Happy Empty The Biggest Room In Your House Of All Furniture And Decoration, Then You And Your Mate Strip Naked And Sit With Your Backs Up Against Opposing Walls And Scowl At Each Other Day!