I Think Malkovich Was Totally Faking Blindness Just To Get A Look At Sally Field's Sweet, Sweet Ass In Places In The Heart Day!

It was a con. The whole movie was just this excruciating buildup of one-sided sexual tension, Malkovich not being able to sleep at night, aghast at the lengths to which he'd gone just to see a farmer lady get naked, moaning and throwing himself against the wall and vowing to leave the very next morning, then finding himself unable to let all he'd worked for slip away just to appease his guilty conscience (all off-screen of course, but implied in his body language), until finally he couldn't take it anymore and he made up an excuse and just burst into the bathroom when he knew she was in the tub. And he was so immersed in the charade that even when he was there and finally in the presence of that rising and falling and floating and swaying skin wet and bare from top to bottom, he just kept on going, already thinking "Why tip my hand? There could be a next time. Hell, if she gets used to it I might get a glimpse of this shit every goddamn night. Fuckin awesome." But then his hand splashed the water, and he was thrown. The water, her water, the bath that had enveloped her skin, that same bath had just kissed his hand. He couldn't take it.

So he got the hell outta there.

The rest of the movie, as far as I'm concerned, was just a drawn out denouement. Even that bullshit about the tornado.

Happy I Think Malkovich Was Totally Faking Blindness Just To Get A Look At Sally Field's Sweet, Sweet Ass In Places In The Heart Day!