There's A Reason They Call It Responsibility Day!
Though I have no idea why. What I do know is it's well after noon already and you're not drunk yet! Get on that.

But seriously, no one really believes you're going to come through with all those drunken promises you made last night regarding seeking employment, following through on artistic endeavors, and quitting drinking. Sure, you could prove them wrong if you wanted to be a real shithead who likes to make people feel all wrong and all. Or you could help them to believe in the grace of God in a "There but for the grace of God go I" kinda way. Don't rock the boat is what I'm trying to say. Leave the devotion to task for the poor sap who obviously doesn't know the Balloon Room offers dollar drafts till 7 PM.

Everyone's counting on you. Now get out there and find bottom!