You Have A Can-Do Entrepreneurial Spirit And You Should Run With That Hardcore Pornographic Placemats Idea Day!
Americans, or at least the Americans I'll allow my kids to consort with, love two things above all else:

1. Photographs of penises in mouths. The more the better!

2. Lifting up their plates of food to see what's underneath!

Well what'll happen if Joe Six-Pack and Jane Supporting-Joe-Six-Pack siddown at the table with their rugrats and they lift up their plates to check for spiders or angels like they always do and what do they see but the most glorious color photographs of human mouths full to the brim with knob?!

They'll wanna kick a pay phone they'll be so hooked, that's what! You're gonna be rich [this is where whoever's speaking says your name to personalize this whole shebang for you, the reader. Who is speaking anyway? And why is he or she trying to sell you on the idea of pornographic placemats if it was your idea in the first place?]! Let's go buy some land!

Happy You Have A Can-Do Entrepreneurial Spirit And You Should Run With That Hardcore Pornographic Placemats Idea Day!